Overcome Procrastination, Hesitation, and Self-doubt With the 5 Scond Rule by Mel Robbins
EPISODE 229
"The 5 Second Rule" by Mel Robbins is a self-help book that presents a simple but powerful technique to overcome procrastination, hesitation, and self-doubt. The core idea behind the rule is that by counting backward from five to one, you can push yourself to take immediate action and disrupt negative thought patterns.
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"The 5 Second Rule" by Mel Robbins is a self-help book that presents a simple but powerful technique to overcome procrastination, hesitation, and self-doubt. The core idea behind the rule is that by counting backward from five to one, you can push yourself to take immediate action and disrupt negative thought patterns.
Buy The Book on Amazon https://geni.us/ZUAYi5w
Get the summary via Blinkist https://blinkist.o6eiov.net/q4y4rL
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Watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/pIvAFWP1W7Q
Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of taking action now, believing that hesitation often leads to missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential. She shares personal stories and insights from her own life and examples from others who have applied the 5 Second Rule to achieve success in various areas such as health, relationships, and career.
The book outlines the science behind the rule, explaining how the brain functions and how the 5 Second Rule can interrupt the habit loops that hold us back. It also provides practical strategies for implementing the rule in different situations, including tips for overcoming fears, building confidence, and creating positive habits.
Robbins encourages readers to consistently apply the 5 Second Rule and persevere through challenges and setbacks. She emphasizes that taking small, immediate actions can lead to significant changes over time and that the rule can be used as a tool for self-improvement and personal transformation.
Buy The Book on Amazon https://geni.us/ZUAYi5w
Get the summary via Blinkist https://blinkist.o6eiov.net/q4y4rL
Become a Moonshot Member https://www.patreon.com/Moonshots
Watch this episode on YouTube https://youtu.be/pIvAFWP1W7Q
In summary, "The 5 Second Rule" offers a simple yet effective technique to overcome hesitation and take action to achieve personal and professional goals. It provides insights, strategies, and real-life examples to motivate readers to embrace the rule and make positive life changes.
Runsheet
SUMMARY
Mel Robbins introduces us to the concept of her action orientated rule, where proactivity is key
The 5 Second Rule (1m49)
MINDSET
Confidence is a habit!
Confidence is not a personality trait (3m12)
BUILD RESILIENCE
Mel introduces us to how to learn, and build skills
The confidence competence loop (2m23)
OUTRO
Mel closes the show with a call to action - just do it
Don’t hesitate (56s)
Transcript
00:00:07:00 - 00:00:36:20
Unknown
Hello and welcome to the Moonshots podcast. Episode 229 I'm your co-host, Mike Parsons, and as always, I'm joined by Mr. Mike. It's really Good morning, Mike. Hey, good morning Mike. Good morning Moonshots family and good morning members and subscribers like, I mean this is good news that we're bringing everybody today because it's a brand new warfare series. It is not only an author series, it has been a long time between drinks.
00:00:36:20 - 00:01:04:04
Unknown
We were just trying to figure out when was the last time we did an extensive deep dive into one author. And Mark, I think we're on the naughty chair for that one. I think we're on the naughty list for this year because I think Mike and maybe our listeners subscribers can tell us if we are indeed incorrect. But I think the last time that we did a series on specific author was actually over a year ago, and that was Jordan Peterson and his real life.
00:01:04:07 - 00:01:30:23
Unknown
So since then, obviously we've delved into frameworks, thinking ideas around motivation and mindset, but actually being able to get back into an individual really dive into some of their beliefs, their recommendations, their ideas. I'm really excited about doing as I'm sure you are too. Yes, email has been one of those classic authors and experts. It's been on our target list, right, Mike?
00:01:30:25 - 00:01:53:25
Unknown
You know, we've got this massive long list that you can check out on our website, on Moonshot Studio, and it's all the people that we want to cover. And the good news for you is that viewers, members and listeners is we have such a huge long list. It is indeed long. But Mel has got to the top. And I think she's got some incredible hats.
00:01:53:25 - 00:02:28:16
Unknown
She's sort of somewhere between Goggins meets James Clear, The author of Atomic Habits may says, I don't know. Who else would you throw into your magic formula? How do you build a mel Robbins profile? Yeah, I was listening into Mel's book, the first one that we'll be covering in the series. It's my second rule. I felt as though they were reminiscent ideas and frameworks, or at least habits that could cross over with Joe Rogan.
00:02:28:18 - 00:02:50:14
Unknown
With Goggins. I even got an element with Daniel Pink, The Power of Regret. Yeah, I think there's a motivation within that that might be coming through in some of the drive that is behind the five second rule, which obviously will break down in today's episode. I think there was even like a reference in my mind with William H.
00:02:50:15 - 00:03:14:24
Unknown
McRaven with getting out of bed early, starting your day. Right. And just having a propensity towards action. This idea of proactivity that a lot of our I suppose my favorite moonshot is often demonstrate and bring to life. I think that's what I'm starting to see, particularly within the five second rule from Mel Robbins that is, you know, consistent.
00:03:15:00 - 00:03:39:06
Unknown
I agree. So if you like any of those books, those authors and experts, you better get ready. And if you like Elizabeth Gilbert as well, who we know is extremely popular with you, our listeners, viewers and members, get ready because we're going to present you thinking on how you can break through all the clutter, self-doubt, fear of failure that you might have.
00:03:39:06 - 00:04:02:09
Unknown
So you can actually activate your dreams, hopes and ambitions. So get ready for the five second rule with Mel Robbins. Mark, I think it is time. Let's press the play button. Where do you want to start on the Mel Robbins journey? Yeah, I'm excited too. So counting down from five, I suppose, is the most appropriate way of introducing Mel Robbins is Book five Second Rule.
00:04:02:11 - 00:04:13:01
Unknown
And this is a clip from her very, very well known, highly recognized Ted Talk, where Mel is going to introduce us to the idea of the five second rule.
00:04:13:01 - 00:04:49:17
Unknown
Your mind can process a facial expression in 33 milliseconds. It can move pretty damn quick. The other thing that it does very quickly is if you have one of those little impulses that are pulling you, if you don't marry it with an action within 5 seconds, you pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Kill it. If you have the impulse to get up and come dance while the band is playing, if you don't stand up in 5 seconds, you're going to call the emergency brake.
00:04:49:19 - 00:05:13:08
Unknown
If you have an impulse about you were inspired by somebody's speech today and you don't do something within 5 seconds, write a note, send yourself a text, anything physical to marry it with the idea you will pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Your problem isn't ideas. Your problem is you don't act on them. You kill them.
00:05:13:10 - 00:05:41:12
Unknown
It's not my fault. It's not anybody's fault. You're doing it to yourself. Stop it. I'm counting on you one and 400 trillion. You got stuff to do. It's not going to happen in your head. So I want you to practice this today. When we go off to party, Thank God it's coming soon. Cause I think we all could use a cocktail.
00:05:41:14 - 00:06:02:02
Unknown
I want you to practice the five second rule. You see somebody and you think they have that impulse. They look interesting. Walk over there. You were inspired by somebody and you have a request. Make it. That's why you're here. Experiment with it. And I think you'll be shocked about what happens.
00:06:03:09 - 00:06:41:04
Unknown
It is so beautifully simple, Mark the five second rule. But I tell you what, if we took an index of the human brain and how many times we had thoughts, ideas, intuitive feelings about something that you might like to do, but then you did not do them, I think the strike rate would be incredibly high. I think we all suffer from having huge dreams, hopes, ambitions.
00:06:41:06 - 00:07:16:05
Unknown
We see things and go, Oh, I'd like to talk to them books, I'd like to read that. Jobs Adventures. Oh, that sounds fun. And then we somehow get numb and we don't listen to that. There are these faint whispers that campuses this all the time, and whether or not we're scared, unsure, or whether we've just grown numb to it all, I think listening and then acting and closing the gap between the listening and the acting.
00:07:16:07 - 00:07:44:10
Unknown
What a huge practice. What a great habit to adopt, right? Yeah. And actually, I think that's an interesting build that you just done that, you know, Mel's making the case that we need to marry an idea with action. Otherwise what ends up happening is, well, nothing unless you act. Nobody else is going to, you know, write the idea in your head or come up with the concepts that you've been brainstorming for a while.
00:07:44:14 - 00:08:07:20
Unknown
You haven't written down yet. Nobody else can do it apart from you, but I think you are. And the action cannot be in a number of different ways. One of them can be talking about it with somebody else. Something that I try and do very regularly is writing it down. Whether that's in a journal like it's an idea or a thought or a to do list, if it's something very, very productive and it needs to happen.
00:08:07:23 - 00:08:32:21
Unknown
But I think the build on this idea of marrying an idea with action is what you just said, which is you've got to be able to recognize the idea, you've got to be able to listen to it, You've got to this, oh, this is something that I have a danger of forgetting or I have to come up with this idea, but then not really do anything about, Yes, I'm going to sit back and count.
00:08:32:23 - 00:08:59:10
Unknown
It might be laziness or what's probably the case is it's so wildly different to how your thinking, feeling, being, doing in the now and then you're presented with this stark contrast. Oh, I'd really love to be a veterinarian, right? And I'm working in product and technology. Oh God, that means I'd have to restudy. Oh, gosh, I'd have to do this.
00:08:59:10 - 00:09:26:14
Unknown
Everything. Oh, I did not have that thought. Then I because it's so confronting is your Oh, that's huge change. And one thing we know for sure, humans hate change with none of us. None of us really go out there for constant change. So here's the thing. When do you do a good job of marrying the idea with action?
00:09:26:16 - 00:09:53:25
Unknown
Tell me if you think about moments in your day. When do you see stuff going, Oh, I should X-Y-Z And you actually do some sort of action, even if it's a note or so. Yeah, I think what I try and do. So I'll try and give an example, an idea around maybe being efficient with let's say, moving some stuff.
00:09:54:01 - 00:10:18:02
Unknown
So I'm about to go through a bit of a house move. It's not a permanent thing, but it's something that that'll take me across a couple of the mileage of Australia. So trying to put into action the idea of doing something a bit more efficient, trying to keep it simple for ourselves is something that I've been thinking about and percolating on for a number of weeks now.
00:10:18:04 - 00:10:42:10
Unknown
One of those things that needs to happen is Aussie Packing and trimming down stuff and making sure that you don't take everything, including the kitchen sink with you on your car. Yeah, yeah. So something very this is very banal example, but it just shows that it's relatively transferable from a work perspective. But by thinking about it and whenever I've had an idea, then I thought this could save us some time.
00:10:42:12 - 00:11:06:23
Unknown
I'll schedule it to my calendar to come back and think about it. So I'll physically time the time to maybe research. Let's say it's a particular way of packing or maybe something that we can get for the call. I'll physically time block time to research and dedicate towards this idea. Yes. So that I make sure to validate it or dismiss.
00:11:06:25 - 00:11:37:22
Unknown
It's interesting, so many questions that'll come up. Of course, but that's such a good approach because I think when you allocate time for an activity, it's the crucial way of managing workload and priorities. Because if you only got a list of things that doesn't activate in the real world because you have to allocate the time and the focus in order to actually do it.
00:11:37:22 - 00:12:17:03
Unknown
So there's nothing wrong with it to do list. I mean, I love having it to do list, don't worry. But the fact that you're going in, even allocating time to think about is really impressive because what you're effectively doing is carving out time, prioritizing that thought, which is really strong. My thing is similar in one part in that I will do a voice dictation in my to do application and I make it a to do because I kind of get the the thought out get it in to do to do is to app which is the one that I use and then I don't categorize it prioritize it.
00:12:17:03 - 00:12:56:04
Unknown
All I do is say that is it to do for today and then I come back to it and write it up a little bit more. Okay. But here's the other thing. And again, I think I'm a little bit primitive here. I don't think I'm particularly advanced or anything, but what I do is I sometimes have a thought, particularly in the realm of when I experience something that's really satisfying or something that's really frustrating, I go and write like a three or four word line as a prompt in my diary for the following day.
00:12:56:06 - 00:13:20:20
Unknown
Now that might sound like a bit overdoing it, but it's really simple. I just open up my app that I do in my diary and I might say something like recording a video with Mark was really great today, and then I'll go and write that, maybe be, you know, write some gratitude around it or write down, like if I did a good piece of work, I'll ask myself, Well, how did I do it?
00:13:20:22 - 00:13:41:11
Unknown
Was it because I made the time for it, or was because I thought about it enough? I was well prepared or whatever. So throwing that little prompt into the diary is really interesting because when you come back to it the following day, you're like, Oh yeah, and actually maybe you're reflection has changed a little bit from being in the moment.
00:13:41:13 - 00:14:12:00
Unknown
Very good for trying to be a bit more objective, which something I always need help with. So being objective and clear thinking on it and you go, Oh, okay, I can see a balanced point of view here. That's sort of my little attempt at five second ruling. But I think overall, Mike, I think my biggest thing is the flag is if I have a thought or an intuition three, four or five times, I really try and hold myself accountable.
00:14:12:01 - 00:14:36:25
Unknown
Like it's like your intuition or your brain is screaming at you saying, Hey, you thought five times about reading a particular book. I mean, hello, Mike, take action. Now read that idea with action. There's obviously a reason you need to read it, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's an interesting. I did the subconscious repeatedly telling you, Hey, man, you need to listen to me.
00:14:37:01 - 00:15:03:10
Unknown
Try and put this idea into action. I think. I think that's true. And I think this this idea of time blocking or writing it down, writing a synopsis so that you can come back to it, I think you write it does not only complement or I suppose, fit into this idea of the five second rule. So put it down and make something happen before you either move on about it or actually forget about it or you're trying to ignore it.
00:15:03:12 - 00:15:24:19
Unknown
But again, I like to build why you went there, Mike, which is you give yourself time to reflect on. Yeah. So the idea of, yeah, sure, you can have action within the first 5 seconds, maybe that action is scheduling to write it down tomorrow, in which case you've then thought about it. During that time you haven't forgotten about it because there is a deadline.
00:15:24:19 - 00:15:45:20
Unknown
You put that into the diary tomorrow, but actually having that time to think about it, reflecting it, and so you write, you might come back and that idea might be even better. Yeah, that was previously. The other thing you can do with 5 seconds, Mike, is you can become a member of the Moonshot podcast. Did you know that?
00:15:45:22 - 00:16:09:02
Unknown
You know what, Mike I did. I did know that. And I have a feeling that some of our members and listeners might be aware too. However, that's not to say that this idea of AIS is not something that we should act on within 5 seconds, because I think all members are individuals who really do prioritize their 5 seconds every week and they are definitely part of the family.
00:16:09:04 - 00:16:36:03
Unknown
And I feel like, as is our tradition and some might remember it more commonly known as the trumpet blowing by Mike, but I think we should tip my hat to all of our members who support us. I think you're totally right. This will take us longer than 5 seconds members and subscribers, so please welcome again. Bob Modeling Ken Dietmar Mars and Connor Rodriguez and Lisa Sayed, Mr. Ballinger.
00:16:36:03 - 00:17:26:16
Unknown
Paul Kalman. Joe Ivone. Christian Samuel, Barbara, Andre, Eric, Chris, Deborah Asay, Steve and Craig, all of whom you'll notice a few names. Mike They're all expanding in that section. There, who are all annual members in fact longer than annual members. So thank you all for your continued support and love. But hot on those heels are Daniel, Andrew, Ravi and even adds Karen, Raul, PJ and Nicholas to older Ingram and Emily, Harry Connick and Carter, Marco Jett, Roger, Anna Roar, Nima Lane, Eric, Diana and Wade, Christophe, Denice, Laura, Smitty, Corey, Gayla Bertram, Daniella and Mike and our brand new member Nelson, who's joined us very, very recently.
00:17:26:18 - 00:17:55:10
Unknown
I put certainly a lot more than 5 seconds, but these are individuals who activated and worked on that idea. Subscribe. Thank you very much to all of those members. And if you'd like to become a member, you can head to mention Studio where you hit the big member button pretty hard to miss. And if you do so, you'll unlock a whole separate second podcast that we do called the Master Series, and we just published one about good thinking.
00:17:55:12 - 00:18:18:03
Unknown
So if you think you need a bit of good thinking, you can get the full version over at mentioned start. I hit the member button and you'll be on the way to being the best version of yourself. I tell you what I think you know, being the best version of yourself. Mark It's about mindset and it's about habits, and I think Mitchell has got some thinking for us on habits, don't you?
00:18:18:05 - 00:18:25:11
Unknown
I think you're totally right. Let's launch straight back into Mel Robbins is not going to tell us all about the idea of confidence. You
00:18:25:11 - 00:18:47:21
Unknown
You had more confidence, how would your business in life change for the better? I'm going to tell you how mine had when I finally learned what confidence is and what it isn't. Number one, I know how to say no. How many of you have a hard time saying no? You have clients you can't stand. If people that work for you, that drain you the ability to align your goals with values and actions.
00:18:47:23 - 00:19:08:21
Unknown
Fearless negotiator. Fearless. Greater self-control. By the way, let me stop there for a second, because I believe that in today's world, this is the number one skill for you. Self-control. And we're going to give you tools today to give it to you. You're going to make a lot more money and you're going to be a happier human being.
00:19:08:24 - 00:19:34:02
Unknown
Absolutely. And I'm going to show you how to do it. We can talk about change all you want, but I'm the kind of person that's about real advice for real people, and that's going to require some real action. So as I'm talking, I want you to notice what are the physical sensations, the feelings that come up in your body when I ask you how would your life change if you had more confidence and you have an answer?
00:19:34:04 - 00:19:55:04
Unknown
Do you feel yourself shrinking? Do you feel yourself talking yourself out or raising your hand? Because if I can get you to start to isolate that pattern and that habit simply in how you respond to whether or not you're going to answer this question, if I can break that right there so that you learn to try. I almost fell off of it.
00:19:55:06 - 00:20:16:03
Unknown
Okay. There's a thing you learn to try. Thank you. But I'm like cert crowd surf right now. You got me. Okay. Then you can bring that anywhere. I'm into experiential learning because, you know, I've got dyslexia. I'm A.D.D.. It's really hard for me to read and retain. So if I feel it, if I have to do it, then it sticks.
00:20:16:07 - 00:20:43:06
Unknown
So let's talk about the myths and the truth about confidence. Okay. Number one, confidence is a personality trait. Total baloney. Total baloney. Lots of extroverted people that are really bossy and annoying. Like I used to be, although I might still be a little annoying, but really insecure. Really insecure. There's a lot of introverted folks that feel uncomfortable putting themselves out there, but they're they really believe in what they're saying.
00:20:43:08 - 00:21:09:12
Unknown
So confidence is not a personality trait. Confidence is fixed. That's not true. You could be the most confident person in the world and the person that you love leads you. That's going to rock confidence. You could be a really great business person and then make a really bad decision and blow it all. That's going to rock you. Number three, the confidence starts with belief.
00:21:09:14 - 00:21:36:09
Unknown
This is where I go against so many other people. I actually believe that this is not true. I think that thinking positive thoughts will certainly make you feel better in the moment, but it's not going to create change that you want, that you can be a negative, frustrated, depressed, anxiety ridden son of a gun and you can still take action.
00:21:38:04 - 00:22:20:03
Unknown
Oh, I think we're being a little bit held to account here. By Mel Robbins. By Newmark. Yeah, I think so. Mel is calling us out a lot in that clip there. There's a lot to break down. So I think, Mike, I think first maybe we should figure out is what exactly would you identify as, I guess, noticing when you're feeling a little bit uncomfortable that that moment where you're sitting in the crowd as Mel was talking to her, our group, and you're sort of talking yourself out of raising a hand to ask a question, what sort of emotions or feelings do you notice in your body when you're, you know, maybe at the edge of
00:22:20:03 - 00:22:58:00
Unknown
saying no to something? Look, saying no, particularly when you're trying to discuss expectations. Like, I think I really enjoy working with people and taking a problem that they have and solving it and then giving back the solution. I find that really rewarding, much like the stuff that we're doing together on the show, you know, we're thinking through these things, working on these things to help our viewers, our members and our listeners.
00:22:58:02 - 00:23:39:22
Unknown
So where I get in the No Zone is traditionally when folks need a lot of stuff to tweak. And those discussions can get fairly challenging, particularly with newer people that I'm working with where I don't have maybe a long kind of history. So we understand each other and I always feel it in the belly, right? Like it's that moment where you're like really struggling to kind of agree and set expectations that are mutual and feasible.
00:23:39:24 - 00:24:10:08
Unknown
That's a moment where, like, I have to work on being confident. And what I tend to always do is, is in those moments is, you know, I kind of use language like you and I both want this to be great. We want the outcome to be really high quality work. We want it to be amazing. And if I don't have the time to do that or hey, I'm going to be traveling over to the US to do these other things.
00:24:10:08 - 00:24:40:06
Unknown
So I can't even start on this for X amount of time. I don't want to cut you short and give you bad work because it was too rushed in insufficient time. But it's always a tough conversation when people bring very hard constraints and, you know, trying to navigate between them. And then, you know, the worst bit is when you feel like you horse traded so much, it's like you've sort of negotiated yourself into a really tough position and then you just don't want the work to suffer.
00:24:40:06 - 00:25:07:02
Unknown
Do you know you're right. And what I think is interesting about all of that, Mike, is you basically describe the idea of confidence in that little breakdown. You know, Mel was calling out the benefit of confidence being the ability to say no, to be that fearless negotiator and also to have that self-control. I think funnily enough, what you just described is a great way of bringing to life those three things in quite a good case.
00:25:07:04 - 00:25:29:21
Unknown
And and it really stems from, I guess, experience. You know, you mentioned not having in certain situations made you working with a different team. So that idea of trust, right, is so important, right? Because that will then help you feel reassured that you can get to that deadline, that you can guarantee the results are going to be good and you have to the right level of native person before.
00:25:29:21 - 00:25:52:22
Unknown
And so for me, it's a similar it's a similar feeling if I'm in a not a corner necessarily, but if I'm in a situation where it's starting to get a little bit uncomfortable. Yeah, it's a physical reaction. You mentioned the belly. It's a me, it's, it's, it's kind of like a tenseness, you know, it's a tenseness around bad shoulders.
00:25:52:24 - 00:26:31:19
Unknown
And you start to think, Is this Something's wrong here? And I think maybe through the experience that we've had with diving into so many individuals on the show, not only are we hearing a lot about individuals such as Mal who are driving us towards action, proximity, but what we're also learning, I think, is through the likes of, for example, Robert Frampton with Body is noticing those situations that are either taking place in your physical self, your body, or your mind, maybe increased level of anxiety, desire to run away from whatever the problem is, to hide, to not get out of bed.
00:26:31:21 - 00:27:00:19
Unknown
Those things are signs, signals, are they? They certain things that you can listen to notice and when you start to notice or feel that those actions or reactions, I should say, taking place, maybe that's when the advice of Mel really kicks in, which is you better do it now, because if you don't, you're going to sit back, feel like that's too long, and then you're going to talk yourself out of out of going forward and taking action.
00:27:01:00 - 00:27:35:22
Unknown
So it's kind of two ways, right? You can develop the ability to marry an idea or an insight with action. If it's negative, something that's coaching frustrating you, maybe you notice yourself being angry or grumpy. Like look into that. Write it down and journal on it and change your behavior. On the other side for all of us is if you want to be doing more satisfying and filling things in your life, notice the people you feel best around.
00:27:35:24 - 00:28:02:15
Unknown
Notice the things that you enjoy doing outside. Notice where you like spending time on the inside. These are also all applicable to the five second rule, so we can be, hey, when there's some friction, 5 seconds, but also when there's good stuff, 5 seconds either way to the courage to listen and then the capacity in the habit to take action on that idea.
00:28:02:17 - 00:28:29:08
Unknown
To me, this is such a gift and you can work on it. It's just like we learned with happiness. It's just like Michael Jordan. He was great because he worked on it. He made greatness a habit. He made being at the gym first priority one and priority two was being the last to leave. We can all do the same in our capacity to hear what's going on around us and take action, empower ourselves.
00:28:29:08 - 00:28:51:14
Unknown
And I think that's the big thing. Beyond the confidence step, Mel is giving us a framework to really empower ourselves to feel more confident. And if you use those two examples in both positive and negative situations, if you reduce the negative increase in positive, hey, chances are you're going to be feeling pretty good at the end of the day.
00:28:51:16 - 00:29:18:20
Unknown
Yeah, Yeah. I think you're I think you're totally right, Mike. I think this idea of empowerment is what defines your ability to feel more confident in a situation. You know, the times when I might feel less empowered are the times when I'll feel less inclined to take action. Because there will be situations where I can almost sit back sometimes I think I'll work somebody else's decision, so I don't need to get involved.
00:29:18:22 - 00:29:46:17
Unknown
And sometimes little ways. Sometimes that will be me taking the easy way out. Yeah, that'll be me thinking somebody else's problem. I'm not. I'm not getting involved in what actually I could do. But that's natural. You're having, like, I think a natural reaction to, you know, the discomfort and you're like, we all have this in-built survival DNA. That's your that's literally how we're designed to avoid things that may cause this stress and harm.
00:29:46:21 - 00:30:07:18
Unknown
That's just how we are. But what was really key that we learned from Goggins once you accept this response, it's natural. But I don't have to respond like that, right? Like a lot of people when they're running and it starts to hurt, they start. But it's amazing. You Oh, it's hurting this because I'm at kilometer ten or 15 or 20.
00:30:07:20 - 00:30:40:14
Unknown
I'll just accept that and I'll just get through it and it's what's on the other side, right? It's what's on the other side. If you take the five second rule from Mel, if you take that action and you let it compound and you keep doing it, what's on the other side is you can get rid of some of the stuff that's pulling back and you can just launch forward into life, get after it, and to me, what's really exciting, imagine if you did a week of the five second rule just set how how much better things would be then imagine a month or a year.
00:30:40:16 - 00:31:12:22
Unknown
Oh my gosh. Yeah. You know, you know what? It's funny when when we break it down, as Mel does, into something that's very physical, you know, 5 seconds is is a physical description of of actions. And it's time. It's a time limit. Imagine the amount of time we would say if we were to take action within those first 5 seconds rather than and also not only time, but anxiety, that feeling of is it right, isn't not back and forth.
00:31:12:24 - 00:31:44:19
Unknown
That then takes up a lot of bandwidth in your brain that so in your mind so to you know if you if you live this rule by Mel suddenly your level of productivity I would imagine increases because you're no longer worried. Yes. Distracted. Yes. By the other idea or action that you've been considering. So this this really reminds me of the Echo Willink, an extreme ownership because he's basically problems are good and my mantra is attack the problem because you're absolutely right.
00:31:44:19 - 00:32:12:04
Unknown
If you don't attack it and let's say something really bothering you, invariably you end up spending most of your day thinking about and worrying about do something about it. Like don't don't carry that with you like this. You just spinning up and burning, you know, precious resources wiring and you're not actually doing it. Just worry. So just dive diving to make it happen.
00:32:12:06 - 00:32:42:14
Unknown
And it's this idea of things can compound and things kind of work in a loop. And I think that what's really powerful now that we've made this kind of confidence habit, it's not just a one and done situation, isn't it? No, it's really not. At the end of the day, much like happiness being a habit, much like confidence being a habit, we have to continually revisit and we must brush up our skills, much like being in the gym and working out that muscle.
00:32:42:14 - 00:32:54:21
Unknown
Mike So now let's hear the next step that we got from Mel is actually going to introduce a new idea that's going to help us be accountable and take ownership, which is called confidence. Competence,
00:32:54:21 - 00:33:19:02
Unknown
Confidence competency loop. Let me show you what this is. So basically, if you try something, he's either going to succeed or he's going to survive. Now, what happens if you survive it? Like you really blow it, but you survive it. We learn something, and then when you learn something, what are you doing? You're building skills. And when you're building skills at something, what do you gain in competency?
00:33:19:04 - 00:33:36:03
Unknown
All competency means is that by learning something over and over and over again, you have to do less thinking about it so you don't have time to get anxious just like me in the bed. I had time to lay there, so I was thinking about all my problems. The more you do something, the more that you try. The more you build skill and competency.
00:33:36:03 - 00:33:58:20
Unknown
And that is where confidence comes. So I want you to walk out of here, not only with the five, four, three, two, one. Catch yourself when you feel yourself shrinking. Catch yourself when you feel yourself. Editing yourself or silencing yourself. I also want you to walk out of here with a brand new definition of confidence, which I'm going to give to you in a second, because check this out.
00:33:58:22 - 00:34:14:06
Unknown
All of us are going to feel failure. Let me show you what happens when you are afraid of failing, when you're when you're fearing it. First of all, you're going to start thinking, aren't you? Ooh, I don't know if I want to give a speech. I might be really bad at it. And then I don't know what I want to talk about, and I'm not really sure.
00:34:14:06 - 00:34:27:06
Unknown
Am I ready? Am I not ready? Should I wear the tennis shoes? Should I wear the heels? Should I not do this? Should I do this? And then, of course, as you think you're going to start to doubt yourself and this becomes this loop, this is what researchers call a habit loop. We're going to get more into this.
00:34:27:06 - 00:34:45:12
Unknown
This is a chunk of behavior that gets encoded in this part of your brain. You see, you don't you're not a doubter. You have a habit to do it. The same is true, by the way. When you feel nervous, you start over thinking the same is true. When you are feeling insecure, the same is true when you feel like a fake.
00:34:45:15 - 00:35:15:16
Unknown
The same is true when you start to get overwhelmed. The same is true when you start to fear rejection. All of those things are normal. It's normal to be afraid of being rejected. It sucks. It's normal to feel nervous. These feelings are normal. Acting nervous is a choice. There's only one way to break a habit loop. You have to insert a different behavior.
00:35:15:18 - 00:35:17:00
Unknown
Pretty neat, huh?
00:35:17:00 - 00:35:55:24
Unknown
Oh, man, that is good stuff from Mel. And I mean, this idea of compounding of good habits, whether we think about Charles De Hague, whether we think about James Clear making these positive habits, the great news is that within your circle of control, you can make a choice to take action in your world in this moment, a choice of what you eat, what you wear, what you drink, what you prioritize on your list.
00:35:56:00 - 00:36:37:06
Unknown
These are all actions to take. Another one is like crazy stuff outside of your control is happening. You can take action. And how you want to perceive those things. You can choose to be freaked out, nervous or crazy or anxious or not. Make it a choice. Make it an action that you take for yourself. I love this. And it's like as she was doing that negative loop, like you can kind of see that dark side of how when you are experiencing those negative emotions, how it has to be like I have a hard wire, like no negative thoughts.
00:36:37:08 - 00:37:08:17
Unknown
Like for me, that's almost, almost more important than positive thinking, like banishing negative thoughts from from your mind. The thing that I do is I like to respond with mantras. If I find myself going into negative thinking about something or someone I really like have this visual of me stopping and interrupting that thought, don't take an action because I'm just fundamentally allocating time in myself.
00:37:08:19 - 00:37:39:17
Unknown
To have a negative thought seems to be completely unproductive and unpleasing thing. And you know, when you meet some people and they just have that deep position where disposition where they are just negative or morose know, Yeah, yeah, I just don't want to allocate any bandwidth that I want to take action to learn how to stop those thoughts, to build the positivity, to build the confidence.
00:37:39:20 - 00:38:06:03
Unknown
And I love this loop that you can grow. And my when I looked at her explaining this, it was like she's the sister of Carol Dweck and growth mindset. I mean, it's almost like another take on growth mindset, isn't it, that you're like, you've stolen my belt and like, Oh, because I totally miss this. I did particularly that take action through to competence.
00:38:06:05 - 00:38:34:10
Unknown
Is that growth, isn't it? You're learning from taking action, you're getting better at it. And what I love about the loop is when you then get on to the other side where you are starting to motivate yourself. So again, that goes back to what we learned in the previous clip about how through that idea of building self-belief, through giving your self confidence or at least convincing yourself of confidence, then motivate yourself to go out and take action and therefore deliver.
00:38:34:12 - 00:39:07:11
Unknown
Carol Dweck Growth mindset. It fits perfectly in, doesn't it? This idea of confidence coming from success, which I think is is probably what a lot of people, including myself, really saw as you growing up. The most confident people probably in schools. And so and maybe looking one of the ones you achieved really well at exams so on the best people in the sports field that confidence is not necessarily something that is exclusive to them.
00:39:07:11 - 00:39:33:04
Unknown
Right. And that's what we've heard here. When you can take take that confidence by the horns and kind of ride it. And I love this idea and it's very, very reassuring, actually, when Melissa broke it down like this, pointing out that it's not a personality trait in that it is actually accessible to all of us if we are to cultivate this level of reflection, this level of challenge.
00:39:33:04 - 00:40:03:09
Unknown
You know, it's a lot of fun to be able to get to the end of something that sounds a little bit uncomfortable. Maybe it's something small, like taking cold showers in the morning, or maybe it's a really challenging project where you've had to create a time for yourself to learn new skills. You've had to go out and maybe find the advice of other people to really absorb as much as you can reading new articles and on, to then get to that endpoint and look back and think, Hey, you know what that shows me?
00:40:03:09 - 00:40:22:08
Unknown
I can get through it. I survived. Yes. In fact, I didn't just write. Maybe even I thrived. Yeah. And what I've learned, I have to keep on growing to keep on learning. I think that, you know, when I've had particularly challenging projects in the past, you know, sometimes it's hard to see the wood through the trees at the time.
00:40:22:10 - 00:40:46:23
Unknown
But looking back at it, ideally reflecting on it and thinking about what you had to put into practice and what you learned and how that's going to benefit you next time, Suddenly the key to that, that idea again of it's not about the destination, it's about the journey time you get. And that confidence is not coming from success, it's actually coming from the journey itself to even build that level of awareness.
00:40:46:25 - 00:41:12:01
Unknown
Yes, education and so on. It's akin to know the moment when you've been going to the gym or running, let's say for three or four months and you really you really starting to see the results of you taking action so you become better at running. You believe you can run further, you become a more confident person. So then you run more and that's the loop.
00:41:12:03 - 00:41:41:09
Unknown
And the beauty of this is whether it's working out, being smarter or developing relationships, they all use this pattern. And that's the real power of what Mel Robbins has to teach us. And it really is fascinating and it is so moonshots, Mark, that it all begins with a habit. And the habit is to take action within 5 seconds.
00:41:41:11 - 00:42:12:07
Unknown
Don't ignore those ideas, because if you do that sort of building up these debt inside of you, of all the mid-stream hopes and ambitions, just don't be that person. But I love that this is a call to action. It is like within 5 seconds, do it. Get out of your head, overcome the fear of failure, the self-doubt, and take action.
00:42:12:07 - 00:42:40:25
Unknown
And we've got one final clip where Mel really brings it home first. Mark, are you ready to launch us into it? I am. I am. And one more time, let's hear from Mel Robbins. He's really going to encourage you and I might as well as our listeners and subscribers to not hesitate, just go and do it. There's a five second window between the instincts, the shoulds, the urges, the inner wisdom, the things that can change your life.
00:42:40:25 - 00:42:58:22
Unknown
If you listen to it, you've got a five second window from the moment you feel that instinct to move. And if you don't, your brain is actually designed to kill it. 5 seconds is all you have. The second you hesitate and you feel yourself hesitating. That is a moment of huge power, because what's happened is you've just started to pull back from something that you need to lean into.
00:42:58:24 - 00:43:17:15
Unknown
And if you count backwards five, four, three, two, one. And this is the neuroscience behind why this stupid little trick works. Counting is an action. Counting backwards requires focus. It's also not a habit for you yet, So when you feel yourself hesitate, you're triggering your mind that something's up. All of a sudden you're like, I don't feel like it.
00:43:17:15 - 00:43:45:24
Unknown
Like I don't. I don't know. Maybe I'll do it later. And your mind is doing it because your mind's trying to protect you. Hesitation signals a red flag to your mind that something's up. Just that small hesitation. It's a habit that we all have. It is so true. We all have moments of hesitation. And it's so interesting to see that in the end of the day, mark, the best thing you can do is just do it.
00:43:46:00 - 00:44:20:19
Unknown
And is that not just a massive learning that we see from so many different people? Do the work, take the action, don't spin your wheels in days, weeks, months or years of self-doubt, fear, uncertainty and hesitation move forward. I mean, Goggins says, if you ain't moving forward, you're going backwards. There's no in-between, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like a plant, you know, if it's not growing, it's not doing anything.
00:44:20:19 - 00:44:52:01
Unknown
It's not surviving, is it? It's great. It's decreasing because it's not actually living up to its potential. And I love this idea that hesitating is a means to essentially allow your brain again, as we've heard on the show, it brain's not a great computer. It does have limited space and processing power. So using it for this and you've got to understand also that we all need to understand that as we go through our days, there's only so much that our brains are capable of processing.
00:44:52:03 - 00:45:13:14
Unknown
So if you do get to a point where you think, Oh, do I want to do this bungee jump? No. Okay, well, my brain's already got rid of it. It's moved on to the next thing. And this idea of hesitation being the enemy is not necessarily something that I that I've heard in such direct terms. I think we've we've understood it a little bit.
00:45:13:16 - 00:45:37:20
Unknown
I like the build, like we've already gone down with this idea of great mindset. But now for myself, thinking back to what I've learned from Mel Robbins, those moments of hesitation to the alarm bells, you know, if I find myself in that moment where I think I'm sure about this, suddenly it's like you're in one of these moments, you need to think about it.
00:45:37:20 - 00:46:04:16
Unknown
You need to action right now. Yes, What a great call to arms. Oh, man. Like the enemy of the state is hesitation. I could kind of. Oh, that would be it. That would be nice. But yeah, Yes. To talking yourself out of it. Yeah. That's for me that's ongoing. I have, you know, stepped back from something that was probably quite beneficial in the long run.
00:46:04:16 - 00:46:24:02
Unknown
It could have been, you know, a great or whatever it might be, but I was a little bit hesitant. Therefore maybe I missed the opportunity because I didn't respond quick enough. Or maybe it was something where, you know, you're not really sure. You haven't really done your research, so you step back from it again because you haven't put in that time.
00:46:24:02 - 00:46:49:01
Unknown
You haven't taken that ownership, you haven't acted perhaps quick enough or perhaps, you know, acted is not necessarily just saying yes to stuff. It's putting in the time to research it. It's putting the time to think about it, putting the time to separate whatever it is that you're working on right now and put the other thing that's playing in your mind in the background, that action isn't, you know, decreasing your ability to be distracted by putting it somewhere else.
00:46:49:03 - 00:47:20:10
Unknown
Yeah, you can come back to it. Yeah, that's the action. Mark Like my homework assignment for myself is whenever I'm hesitating five second rule. What's your big takeaway? What's your homework assignment? I think the idea that confidence is a habit is going to be something I'm going to work on. You know, I think confidence can obviously be broken down in a number of ways, as we've heard today in today's show.
00:47:20:12 - 00:47:51:16
Unknown
But the insight that you can build it, you can build on that confidence, you can get better at it, identifying it and so on is something that that I think is a really interesting addition to the moonshots library in my mind. Sure. Yeah. That's something I well, it's crazy how much of success is habit. It's just so crazy how much of feeling fulfilled and satisfied in life comes from healthy habits, from the mind, body and soul.
00:47:51:18 - 00:48:15:15
Unknown
It is incredible. It's one of the many joys I've had from doing the show together with you and just learning so much. So, Mark, I want to say thank you to you and I want to say thank you to our members, our viewers and listeners, too, because today was show 229. That's quite a few, really. And we studied the work of Mel Robbins, the five second rule for big ideas.
00:48:15:22 - 00:48:41:13
Unknown
And the first one was Marry an idea with an action in less than 5 seconds if you want to make a change, five second rule is where it begins. And this confidence that you get from taking action. It's not a God given trait, you know, born with it. You build it. You make it happen every single day. If you do that, you'll build the skills, you'll build the confidence, confidence leap.
00:48:41:15 - 00:49:02:03
Unknown
So just go out and do it. Become become the enemy of hesitation. Be the person that launches into life, that learns out loud and is becoming and working on being the best version of themselves. Because that's what we're all about here at the Moonshots podcast. That's a wrap.