Dan Millman: Way of the Peaceful Warrior
EPISODE 141
Dan Millman's book; Way of the Peaceful Warrior (buy on Amazon) is a rare story with the power to transform lives. It conveys piercing truths with drama, heart, and humor and speaks directly to the universal quest for fulfillment and happiness, for finding our place in the world. Way of the Peaceful Warrior is a part-fictional, part-autobiographical book based upon the early life of the author Dan Millman.
It is a story for all times that can inspire joy, expand perspectives, and remind us of the deeper truth we already know, that real freedom lies within us right now.
SHOW OUTLINE
INTRO
We all have inner battles, prepare yourself for them
Spiritual weight training (1m18)
FOUNDATIONAL IDEA
Summary of Book by gainknowledge
Meditation and purpose (2m36)
HOW TO
Learn to enjoy the journey of your life, and don’t let your ego drive your emotions
What makes you happy (2m23)
Finding time to rest and find peace
How to Overcome the Fear of Wasting Time
Focus on the now, rather than letting yourself become overwhelmed by too many thoughts
One thing at a time (2m07)
CLIP CREDITS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDL85fzdc1g&ab_channel=TEDxTalks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA4twJiaWVw
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to the moonshots podcast. It's episode 141. I'm your cohost Mike Parsons. And as always, I'm joined by the man of peaks. Mr. Mark Pearson Freeland, a peaceful. Good morning, sir. Good morning. My it's episode 141. I think you've been listening to one of our old shows. You seem to have found peace.
I'm feeling very, very peaceful today. Having had the pleasure of getting back into the world of Dan Millman and his semi fictionalized book, the way of the peaceful warrior (buy on Amazon). What a great book. Also, it was a recommendation from one of our super listeners, Mr. Terry Bean. Thank you, Terry. We've thoroughly enjoyed learning from Dan Millman's work.
What a great bull calmer, what I think struck you and I, when we got into it after Terry recommended it to us was how applicable and similar there are [00:01:00] elements within down moments work that teaches us how to be. First of all, resilient understanding spiritual strength, understanding the strength to go out and almost accept things as they are.
But also, Mike, I think on the other side of that coin of resilience was the peace and that peaceful warrior stance, I think really interested you and I, because they were, they felt like juxtapositions, but the truth was, they were so interconnect. Yeah. So he basically says to us, you've got to work really hard on finding peace and doing, having some time off downtime.
It was almost work hard at doing nothing at all. Yeah. Be, be a warrior in doing peaceful things. I thought it was such a nice way of trying to again, find discipline in carving out time to, and he's got this whole thing of, there has to be this. If [00:02:00] you want to be the best version of yourself, what he taught us is there has to be time of nothing of boredom or peace or calm.
And I think we're all in a race to be productive, to be the best version of ourselves. Did, you know, go, go, go productive, productive, productive, but he's saying, Hey guys, Take a breath, pause and work on this idea of spiritual weight training of bringing yourself back into the moment, doing things that bring you joy, doing things.
One thing at a time, be clear on your purpose. Take time to clear your thoughts, get your thoughts, right. In terms of meditation. For me, the most challenging piece of practicing his advice is when you're trying to have, let's just call it the perfect day. Right? And then things go wrong example this morning, [00:03:00] I wanted to have an hour's walk before we started recording this.
But I could only get like 15, 20 minutes and the old me would have just been like, oh, this is so far under what you wanted, rather than accepting it and just going, Hey, what was actually a really nice walk? And it was important to have that little break before doing hours of recording, but that's okay.
The transition that I'm going through using Dan Millman's work is, is to say it's okay. Cause I had a great night's sleep. I had a great start to the morning I got fully ready and the walk, Hey, I walked here. Wasn't as long as I wanted, but that's okay. You know, and, and that for me is the essence of the challenge.
It's just like sitting on the back couch on the weekend and doing nothing. Yeah. That was, that was the big thing for me that sitting on a couch and doing nothing because it's. [00:04:00] I, I used to be one of the, one of those people who would actually not only time, Monday to Friday, when am I going to work on this?
When am I going to go and do that? I would time block my weekends. And I think this is the hour for exercise. This is the hour for going to the shop or whatever it was. And I remember this show, Mike with Dan Millman, this concept of getting over the fear of wasting time and just saying, okay, well, it doesn't matter if you don't do it right then and there, because if you're feeling pretty relaxed right now, you're reading a book on the balcony in the sun, perfect.
Have in whatever you're doing there. And B acceptance, the acceptance of the walk being only 15 minutes accepting that it's going to rain. So you can't actually go and go for a run after all. Yeah. You know, having that discipline with yourself then enables you to perhaps be a little bit more. In the rest of the work that you're doing, indeed.
He [00:05:00] is calling all of us to be spiritual weight trainers. He's calling all of us to action. So, mark, what do you reckon? Is it time for us to jump in? Yep. I think it's now time for us to hear from Dan Millman and the idea, what does this term mean? Peaceful? Many of us have an intuitive feel for it. We think of people like Mahatma Gandhi or our own guru or spiritual master as, as a peaceful warrior (buy on Amazon).
But the reason it's about all of us is that everyone I know is seeking to live with a more peaceful heart in the midst of all the changing times of everyday life. But there are also times that each of us needs a warrior spirit and we understand what that means. It's not about fighting except those inner battles with the demons of self-doubt insecurity, competitive mind.
So we all have our inner battles, but really it's about just standing up tall and marching [00:06:00] forthrightly into life, facing what we can it's it's viewing life daily. Life is a form of spiritual weight training. If you don't lift enough weights, you don't get any stronger, which is why Saint Augustine said, Lord, I pray not for a lighter load, but for stronger shoulders.
So this is what I mean by the peaceful Warrior's way and why wide applies to all of us, whatever, traditionally follow whatever our beliefs or practices. Each of us is a peaceful warrior in training. That is so good. I love this call to action and we should stand tall and rather than lightening the burden to strengthen the shoulders, that's pretty Sage like advice.
Isn't it, mark? Yeah. You know, the, the peaceful. When you're seeing change for me is, is a pretty significant call-out because often if I'm ever faced with change, Mike you know, you're quiet and the tendency is to kind of [00:07:00] toughen up and almost rejected. Isn't it? You know, nobody necessarily likes change without practicing change.
You know, I think our bodies are tuned to get into a bit of a rhythm kind of enjoy life as it goes. But finding peace when a challenge comes along or a change moment comes along, is, is this peaceful element here. And then that combination with the warrior spirit in your heart. To stand up and say, okay, I'm going to accept change as it comes.
And I'm going to be strong enough to go out and deal with it and go and live out that experience. That's, that's a wonderful two parts of that. Yeah. And it frames a lot of the work that we're gonna discuss about finding stillness about getting that clarity not being overly affected by the things around you and then moving into, you know, all sorts of goodies, like how to truly find that meaning and happiness, how [00:08:00] to use your time.
Well, how to really set yourself up for the long March of life. And I think, you know, when you are taking Dan Newman's advice, I think for anyone who's looking to. Really do something substantial in life to really fulfill a purpose, a goal to really make a contribution is never going to come in an instant and adversity is guaranteed.
Like the more that you choose to do something of meaning, the more hardship you're going to face. And I think this book for someone who is perfect for someone who's setting up a company to starting a big new project, or maybe they're on an even bigger transformation, maybe they want to run their first marathon, whatever it is, whether it's in your personal professional life, this book gives you, I think a key thing.
It gives you stamina. It gives you a way to think about how to March the long March and you know, what [00:09:00] have a smile, enjoy the moments along the way. It's not just about the destination. It's the journey too. So mark, what I want to plow you and all of our listeners with. Is a pretty important moment. I think we're going to focus on how we may ready ourselves to be the warrior, how we are going to find that peacefulness.
So what we've got now is a short summary by the guys that gain knowledge on YouTube. And this short summary is going to frame the underlying context of the book and how it should play a role in our lives. So let's have a listen to what the book really is telling us. What is the message from Dan Millman in the way of the peaceful warrior (buy on Amazon).
We often believe that a life of quality, enjoyment and wisdom are human birthright and will [00:10:00] be automatically bestowed upon us. As time goes on, this is false. You and I are overflowing and preconceptions like this full of useless knowledge before we can learn, we have to first empty, right? The first lesson is that your mind, not other people or your surroundings is a source of your moods.
We need to understand where our thoughts come from, how they arise in the first place. For example, if you have a cold, the physical symptoms tell you that your body needs to rebalance itself, sunlight, fresh air, simple food, likewise, social thoughts reflect a conflict with reality. Stress happens when the mind resists, what is a way to get the mind to stop resisting is through meditation.
Science is the Warrior's art and meditation is his sword with it. You'll cut through your illusions, but understand this. The sword is usefulness. Depends on the source. Then if you don't know how to use the weapon properly, it can become a dangerous diluting or useless tool. [00:11:00] The warrior uses this healed meditation with skill and understanding with it.
He, the mind to ribbons, splashing through thoughts to reveal their lack of subs. The purpose of real meditation is to expand awareness, direct attention, and surrender to the light of consciousness. There are two simultaneous processes with meditation. One is insight paying attention to what is arising, the other surrender, letting go of attachment to a rising thoughts.
The second lesson is what happens when bad things happen to us. Noman tells this story, an old man and his son worked on a small farm with one only one horse to pull the plow. One day, the horse ran away. The neighbor said, what bad luck, who knows whether it was bad luck or good luck. The farmer reply a week later, the horse returned from the mountains leading five wild mares into the bar.
What wonderful luck. So the neighbors. Good luck, [00:12:00] bad luck. Who knows? Answer to the old man the next day, the son trying to attain one of the horses fell and broke his leg. How terrible, what? Bad luck. It's bad luck. Good. Look, the army came to all the farms to take the young men for war, but the farmer's son was of no use to them.
So he was fared. Good, bad. The moral of the story is that everything has a purpose. It's for you to make the best use of it. There are no accidents. Everything is a lesson. Mm. Couple of big stories or thoughts within that, that summary I liked, I liked that, that one. That was one of those clips, you know, when you're like, oh, maybe we should have broken that up into like five separate ones.
Cause it was just so much. I'm like writing all these notes. Oh my gosh, you got to keep up this, you know, that was a big one on that. Well, let me, let me see if I can break it down for you, Mike, and you can help me by building on it. Okay. There were two elements within that story. Wasn't there two themes.
The first [00:13:00] of which was this connection between meditation. Both insight, as well as surrender becoming your sword, your sword, your mind sword, I suppose, to go up against problems, challenges, and obstacles, and the sharper and the stronger that sword is through practice through meditation. The better it is that you can, you can guard and battle those particular obstacles or challenges.
And I want to come back to that in a second, but then the second theme within that, that summary clip, there was this idea on luck, this idea on good luck or bad luck, it doesn't really matter. Nobody knows whether it's good or bad, it just happens. And again, that for me is connecting to that first theme around insight and surrender.
If you've got the inside that there's no such thing as good or bad luck, and you can surrender to them. Admission or that way of thinking, then you're able to go out and not be interrupted in the way that you live your life. You're able [00:14:00] to enjoy it. You're able to grow from it. And you're able to perhaps sharpen that sword.
What did you get from that clip? Oh boy. Well, I think the, a lot of what I related two in the first half was that it is within our mind that we cause so much of this battle. It is with this mind that judges, the gets angry, he gets frustrated. All of that. Is this restless mind? We talked about the mischievous mind, you remember?
Yes. And the Alexa, the answer, the solution to this mind running a mark is to, to create stillness, silence meditation, or to slow the hell down. Right. That's really good. I get a lot from that. And that's a really good reminder for me because I have a lot of energy. So I have to buy [00:15:00] really like, get it out of 50th and lock it back down.
I think particularly powerful, almost eternal wisdom is this idea that everything has a purpose. So just bloody excepted, because I think so much of the battle inside of us is the fight. This is unfair. Why me? I worked hard. I don't understand like it's, I'm a victimization. Thinking of yourself as a victim and spending all that time, regretting the past, worrying about the future.
I think that's two really big Sage like advices thoughts that we can consider and come back to every morning and every evening just like calming the mind and excepting, because I think we battle, right? Don't you feel like you battle with things that have happened? It is what it is. It is like if let's say your favorite football team and the [00:16:00] coach decided to swap a player and the team ended up losing and you know, it creates all these emotions, but in the end, It is what it is.
Let's say a company that you're working in decides to do a new venture or to launch a new product. And it goes really badly and people have to be like, well, you can get all wound up about who his fault and judging and blaming and cursing. And, but it just is what it is. And if can accept, then maybe you can turn everything moment into every moment has something to teach us.
You know what I mean? And then you can like that story that was told about the horses, the horse round, why, but it brought back five broke his leg, but Hey, then didn't have to go to war if we can reflect on those lessons. I think in the moment where we may be tempted. To not be peaceful and [00:17:00] to be all over the place and to be full of negativity.
I think if we can accept, I think this is extremely helpful. If you're trying to go out there and do something, maximize your energy to the good and don't allow the mind to be mischievous. I mean, that's my, that's my build for your mark. That, that, that was a good build. That was a good build. Thank you for that.
I think you've, you've definitely added something there and, and that mischievous mind it, it is pretty damaging, isn't it? Because as soon as you fall into the trap, that standard behavior of saying, oh, poor me. Why doesn't it work? Why can't I get that success? Why isn't it something that comes easy to me because I've put in the time or whatever it is, right.
What I find is it then affects whatever else I'm working on now, because I'm kind of stewing in, in that past or in that, in, just in that [00:18:00] perceived injustice, you know why it doesn't work for me, I'm so frustrated and it affects your quality, doesn't it? It does. Let's go to that moment. A couple of interesting things.
So let's say something happened in your stewing about it. Does stewing about it change the reality of what happened 0%. Exactly. That's wasted. And secondly, if, if you and I are doing something together, Terrible stewing, grumpy mood about it. Mark, do you want to say, Hey Mike, let's go out and get a cup of coffee and hang out.
You're like ma Mike is a grumpy, as I'm getting the hell out. I don't want to collaborate. Like you don't want to hang out with people that are stewing in judgment, anger, frustration. It is a natural human response where like, Ooh, stay away. Right. Do you remember like moments in your life? Maybe when you're a kid or with family?
When, when [00:19:00] someone's really not in a good place, you're like, I'm just going to go for a walk. Yeah. I'm going to remove myself from that situation. Exactly. So this is, this is the boys and of that, that negativity, you can accept it. You can, you know, yes, you have to acknowledge that it's not you know, when things happen that it might not be good, but I've got another, I really think this is powerful to open up the rest of the show.
I think we have to kind of unpack this a bit more, you know, an idea that comes to my mind, an example of where we have to, you know, really unders empty the tank and be more peaceful and accept that everything has a purpose. I'll give you another sporting analogy. On the weekend, the Australian rugby grand final was on, it was very close and went into like three or four minutes over time.
And winning team from Queensland won by a [00:20:00] few points by scoring a try right at the end of the okay. But what's interesting is that In retrospect, looking at some of the footage, there was actually a mistake stake by Queensland that should have being caught by the referee. Extremely hard to see.
It was only because you go back and rewind like the 10th different angle looking at this play. And what's interesting is so many supporters from the losing side with us, so upset and so forth. And the thing is at the speed. Yeah. Professional rugby to have caught this would have been like a one in a million chance for the referee.
You know, you know, 30 big fellows, all rumbling for the ball, like come on. Yeah. But here's, what's interesting bill Bellacheck they're very famous coach of the new England Patriots always says when, when the team loses by a point at the end of the game, he always says, well, we should never allowed it to have [00:21:00] got that close in the first place.
And he never rushes to this judgment. And I think that is the way of the peaceful warrior. So if I was on that losing side, as the great challenge would have been to say, you know what guys we were leading the entire game until the end, we shouldn't have let them even get close to scoring, let alone scoring.
And for us to blame the ref, making a bad decision, which would have been impossible to catch. This is not the peaceful warrior way peaceful worry away would have should. It should have said, you know what paid hard disappointing to lose, but you know what? We led the entire game. We shouldn't have even let them get close.
We'll learn. We're going to play better in the last 10 minutes in the next game. I think that's what what Dan is inviting us to do empty the tank, let go of your judgment and you can use meditation to do that. And except. When things do happen [00:22:00] and Hey, if you're alive, the one guarantee you have is that bad things are going to happen because that's kind of life.
Yeah. So being better equipped, going to the spiritual weight training gym and working out so that you've got stronger shoulders to carry that. I think that is the invitation of this book. That is the quality of the thinking. And I just love it. Don't you? Yeah. Yeah. If I, if I try and connect the story of the, the Queensland game and look, I'm sure we've got a lot of listeners in Queensland who are perhaps doing cartwheels and saying, sorry, Mike, but you know, we're really, really happy over here.
If I think about my, my life, my career. That type of game, where it gets to the last second. And then I lose, I think that's where this idea of practice spiritual weight training can come in because it's up to me. I'm, I'm the coach of my game. You know, if I, if I [00:23:00] lose it the final second year, it is what it is, but at least I control how much practice and the journey that goes into that final moment.
I can play the rest of the game as much as I want, but this idea of putting the purpose in putting the practice in that's what I can control. And yeah, I can't control whether they ref catches the indiscretion or not, but I can control how I perform prior to that. Yeah. And look, what's really interesting is I think there's a really interesting insight here.
I think we, we all kind of have this general awareness that we need to exercise regular. That's good for the body. And you know, if you're a bit fanatical about exercise, you, you might even feel a bit weird if you don't exercise it for one day years, like something doesn't feel quite right. If you think about making a big presentation, we all kind of know, we need to prepare.
If you think [00:24:00] about education, you generally know we need to go to high school and many of us choose to go to college. So what is fascinating, particularly with the absence and the sort of, I think the reduction of, you know, religion playing a major role in modern Western life I, as a huge decline in, in religion amongst Western nations, I think it becomes super important that we pay attention to our conscious, our spirit.
In whatever shape way or form we think is right. And I think what Dan gives us is just a fantastic way to get in touch with things that are beyond our body and beyond our work, but this for meaning satisfaction and fulfillment. I think it's very apt that we have so much more in the show to go into on how we might be become peaceful [00:25:00] warriors.
Right. It's it's, we've, we've set up the context. We've intrigued the listeners. Yeah. We've we've got to move on at some point into, okay, well, how do we actually go out and do this? So before we do that, mark, I mean, we're getting a lot of positive feedback from folks where you've got a big invitation happening at the moment.
What do you think, which is rather. Innovative and a little high tech, what can we invite every single listener to do? Well, listeners, you might've heard us call out at the beginning of the thinking that is series a as well as in today's episode, we would like to invite you to be part of the way that we learn out loud.
And we would like to invite you to tell us whether you think there is additional benefits to learning alongside with us through perhaps the presence. The moonshots model sitting within your pocket day to day. So we'd like [00:26:00] to invite you to pop along to moonshots.io and let us know if you'd like us to build a mobile application of moonshots so that you can go in and find out a lot more and already Mike.
We've got a pretty good collection of signups from, from pretty much all over the world. Actually, I noticed so a big shout out to Rick, Jared and Michael and the sheets Danielle, Dimitri, Angie, barrage, Jason, Samantha, and so on. And there's plenty of papers signing up. We need to hit the hundred twenty-five thousand listeners every month of this show.
We just want to have a hundred of you to say, yeah, we want this because we'll have to work hard to get this, this app going and mock the. Pretty neat. We've got three features that we want to do. Do you wanna, you want to kind of share a little bit about it? Absolutely. I mean, listen is the important thing for us is you get to, to listen to us each week, but actually we want to encourage new ways for yourselves to, to interact [00:27:00] with us and be part of this moonshot community.
So the key things that we're thinking about for this moonshots app, but again, Hey, get in touch with us and let us know what you think, but the sort of things and features that we're thinking about is giving you the opportunity to listen to the shows as you already do, but interact in new different ways.
Interact with the show format in a number of different mechanics, as well as vote for future shows. We all ways get emails and messages from you guys giving us good recommendations. Mr. Terry Bean and Dan Millman today. So we'd like to give you the opportunity to vote for future shows in an easier way, as well as perhaps even get some training or coaching from a moonshots model perspective.
So some big ambitions here that we'd love to try to deliver to you guys, but you've got to tell us, is this worth us going to build exactly. And I think I want to call out one country. We want to hear from, and that's Brazil. We have we were blown away actually this week we saw that [00:28:00] we, we rocketed up the charts in Brazil.
We the, in the actuate for this market, can you believe this? We are in the top a hundred business and entrepreneurship podcasts that in fact we've reached 30th in Brazil. I mean, how cool is that? That is cool. So all of our listeners and friends in, in Rio, San Paolo, Hey guys, we want to hear from you.
We do, have we ever had an email from a Brazilian listener yet? I'm not sure if we have, I don't think we have. We've certainly had south America. We've certainly had Mexico and all sorts of amazing countries around the world, but to all of our Brazilian listeners, guys, we'd love to hear from you. So please do get in touch, head over to moonshots.io.
If you want to sign up for the beta, send us an email, make a recommendation. That is the destination moonshots.io. With that being said, I think our new [00:29:00] destination mark is to get some real practical tips from Dan Millman on how we can be a peaceful warrior. So let's without any further ado let's dig into, oh, this is a big one.
Let's have a listen to Dan Millman talking about what makes you happy. When I was young, I was pursuing the Western solution to happiness. Which is Tony Robbins, which is a go for the Gusto and succeed at achieve, get possessions and stuff and status, all the things that quote unquote of the ego, the outward expensive Western view of what it means to be happy and successful.
Well, the Western solution, and there are people who have done that. In fact, the actor, Jim Carrey was recently quoted as saying, I think everyone should become rich and famous and get everything they want so they can find out that's not the end.
You know, the best thing about going to college. You find out [00:30:00] it doesn't make you happy. It doesn't come with a diploma, maybe a little while. There are people who didn't go to college. And for years they say if only I'd gone to college, I'd be happy. If only I had a better job, I'd be here. If only I had more money, I'd be happy.
If only I traveled more, I'd be happy. If only I found the perfect relationship, I'd be happy if only I had children, I'd be happy if only I hadn't had children, I'd be happy. I was retired. I'd be happy if only if only, and it goes on and on. And we find out eventually that either we're happy now, or we're not because all we have is now future happiness doesn't mean anything.
All we have is now and happiness, I would suggest is not something that we have to feel. I mean, if we felt happy [00:31:00] every moment, how would we know it? The measure of our sorrows is also the measure of our joys. So life emotions past like the weather, they change all the time. And it's hard for me to imagine.
The end point of human evolution is to walk around with a gleeful smile on our face all the time. There must be something more than that. I think what we're really seeking is a sense of meaning that our lives are worth something. They count for something and purpose and direction and connection with ourselves connection with others and connection with the transcendent.
Wow. We don't know what to say now. All right, Mike, help us out. I mean, it's, it's a big clip and, and, you know, I know you're going to ask me at the end of the show, which is the, which is the big one, but I mean, that stunned me in silence. Look, Jim Carrey actually is a man who probably does make me happy.
I think he's, he's pretty, [00:32:00] pretty amazing, but I think the lesson that Dan's calling out, that Jim calls out there, this, it reminds me the phrase if only. Is an excuse to not be happy because you're, you're almost giving yourself permission to be unhappy on you. If only that project had worked out, if only this product works, if only, well, all of the lists that, that Dan gave you there it's so reminiscent of some of the behavior that I've had in my own life, because you do kind of always the, it reminds me of a couple of other phrases.
The grass is always greener on the other side. And one of my personal favorites without the bitter, the sweet ain't so sweet, which is something that, you know, Dan references here, if you were always happy, how do you, how do you know it? You know, how do you notice that you're, you're happy if you're consistently on that flat plate, [00:33:00] but I think, and I know you, okay, I gotta pull this out, Mike, it goes back to this concept of the ego.
Does it. Yeah. And it, it makes it pretty difficult for you to appreciate what you have now, if you're dwelling in that indulgent thinking, right? Yeah. If, if, if I'm indulging myself and either feeling sorry for myself and saying, oh, that didn't really work. Or again, if I'm making this experience queues to have almost given myself permission to have failed or most or given myself to think that I failed when in fact I've actually learned something, but I just can't notice it.
It's such a huge a har moment when you hear it broken down in the way of the peaceful warrior to think. Okay. Well, just that journey. Yeah. Yeah. And I think [00:34:00] what, w why do you think. We let our egos takeover. Why, why do you think that when you go back to stoicism and the Ryan holiday series, when you go back to echo toe, it seems like ego is enemy number one.
I know, isn't it funny? It seems like such a consistent theme for me is my opinion mind. Let me pitch it to you. I think the, the power of the ego in our lives to influence the way that we notice events, the way that we appreciate or interact with events is a form of self-defense. So. If I'm upset or disappointed by a situation let me, let me try and pull something out.
Let's say I've done a race and I've twisted my ankle. And I say, ah, I can't believe that. What, what bad luck, why did it happen to him? To me, that's my ego [00:35:00] saying, oh, well, you know, it's not your fault, but the truth is maybe I stepped wrong. Maybe I didn't strengthen my, my muscles enough to be able to cope with it.
Maybe I didn't do enough preventative practice in order to be able to cope with, you know, potentially wrong, wrong footing. I think it's, it's, it's, it's my ego giving me an excuse so that I don't feel bad when the truth is I don't need to feel bad about it. It just happens. Right. And so much of Dan Millman's work is, is about don't rely on those externalities.
For your happiness, just enjoy the moment being the now like it's so Eckhart Tolle in that respect, he's like, if you're going to be hanging your happiness and your meaning in life attached to the views of others, there's going to be a rollercoaster. Surely it makes more sense to find more peace, more calm, more S more meaning in and of yourself rather than [00:36:00] being exposed to others.
Because if you, if you hanging your happiness on the views of others, then you're in for a really rough ride. And even if you are doing the right thing, others might not perceive it. So it's so unjust in that respect. So it's such a call to arms of being in the moment. Isn't it? It reminds me of one of the Marcus earliest quotes.
Within the Ron holiday series, where he in, in Mark's release his meditation's, he calls out, don't worry too much about those externalities. You're not going to make every single person happy. You're not going to walk down the street and find that everybody is you is a good friend of yours. There will be individuals who, you know, they might not be going out of their way to upset you, but it's possible that they might.
And instead of allowing that to then influence your morning, your day, your life instead, [00:37:00] find the happiness in just you going about your business, enjoying the journey, enjoying the life and not letting yourself be distracted by things that you can't control. Yeah, what a big theme that just plays. I think as, as we come into 2021, we're all adjusting to a new way of working and new way of life.
And I think, you know, this advice of just enjoy the journey and apply more attention to your self be right. So you can go out and get the world, right. I mean, I think that's a big part of what Dan says, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It really is. As well as acceptance, you know, again with with a foot in the stoic camp, if you can accept the very moment that you're in and remove any, you know, judgment.[00:38:00]
From that, you know, and going back to that Jim Crow quote that he, that he specifies, if you can remove those things that you don't have control over that, that, that perfect job, perfect life, perfect money, whatever it is. And instead thing. Okay, well, that's, that's okay, because this is my journey. This is my story.
Yeah. I liked that. I liked that. I think I think where we all, yeah, really stuck on is we have these really big dreams and ambitions and when they don't come true, we get despondent. And I think the message, let me try and pitch you this. I think what Dan Millman says to that is and it's quite familiar familiarity.
It's reminiscent of what Dale Carnegie talked about. Yeah. With how to stop worrying is this idea. Will, did you work hard? Did you do your best in the most. Okay, then you can just [00:39:00] accept the results and you can re you know, accept the reality of where you are, knowing that you made your best effort and the build the Dan Millman puts on this is enjoy the fact that you did you best enjoy this moment.
Like, he's almost saying to you, okay, fine engineering engineer, yourself to find the true meaning and happiness in the journey in the making the effort. And then you can just accept the result. And I think our general design is that we kind of become outcome obsessed. So we don't enjoy the small improvements that we make.
And even if we don't make an impact. We're unable to think like that horse story that Dan Millman has, [00:40:00] which is that okay. Things, everything has a purpose. So when challenge comes our way, we have to have the wisdom, the peacefulness to go, okay, well, this was meant to come my way. I was ready for this.
This is, there is a lesson to be learned inside of this. I think this is how we start to turn the Titanic, like, okay, stuff is a bit sideways, but it's meant to be, I'm going to do my best. And I'm going to find meaning and satisfaction in the effort to do my best, regardless of the outcome. You see, you see what I think that's the turning point.
That pivot point, that that is the build. Isn't it. So again, referencing where he came from his background in being a coach, as well as a award-winning sorry, metal winning. Gymnast. I think that, that there's a comparison there, isn't it, you know, he may have lost out in the past, [00:41:00] but through the practice that he puts in the journey of building that strength, that coordination of that mobility and flexibility, I mean, there is a joy that comes in that if you can find it, if you can find the moment to almost pause and say, okay, well, I'm just going to take a moment, have a breath.
I'm going to enjoy this, this this joy that comes with the actual hard work of putting an ad in that feels like the, the, the real goal. Isn't it? Yeah. So one, one little cheat that I have is when I'm just doing and particularly when you have to toil and stick to something over a long period of time, I have this little cheat that this is how I kind of help myself.
Enjoy the process. I mean, a lot of great sports team will great sports teams. They'll talk about, you've got to trust the process. It's sometimes a bit cliche in the sports world these days, but [00:42:00] what they're really trying to say is like you got to intake satisfaction every day at training. And w the thing that I do both in my personal life in my health routines is sometimes you're like, oh gosh, this is like, oh, what I wouldn't do for a week on the beach.
But what I do is I always think about it like compound interest. Every time I continuously go through a habit or a ritual or an effort, I take joy in the fact that, you know, that was running. 16,332 in my life. Like every time I'm, I'm growing that every time I get up early, I know that most people are not in fact with anything that I do.
What I know is that I can be so proud of sticking to it because so many people don't stick [00:43:00] to it. They don't put in the hard work, you know, God, God talks about being relentless. Well, we can be relentless with our patients habits, our rituals. We can be relentless in finding structure, calm, purpose, meditating, every single day.
You know, there are times when I'm like I have a little to do that's okay. The end of the day, which is to write what I was grateful for. And there are some times my, when I'm really tired, I'm like, oh, I haven't written any of my gratitudes. And you're just like, you have to go inside and in summons some motivation to go do it.
When all you want to do is crash. Right. I get to sleep, but you've got to say, well, you know what? If I do this every single day, every week, every month, every year time I'm doing it. That is an act of a resilience of being readily [00:44:00] lists of being the peaceful warrior. And that's my little hack. Like, it's like, like like a little town.
There's another notch on the belt there. Yep. Job done. And I can be proud of that because most people don't stick to things. So sticking to it has a, it's like so important to become motivated because otherwise you're like our dear skip today. Hey, what's one day. And you, and I both know once you break the a hundred percent role, it all falls apart.
Doesn't it? Yeah, it really does. If you don't. Stick to that regime or routine or habit as you, as you're saying, then, then you're willing to, to give yourself the excuse to the next time as well, you know? Oh, well I gave myself permission last time so I can just, yeah, so we did a show way back in the back catalog on Clayton Christiansen and his book, how you live your life.
And he talks about this idea. It's easier to be a hundred [00:45:00] percent about your purpose and commitments than 99%. Because what he says is that if you're not absolute in doing the things that make you a better person and doing the things that make you both peaceful and a warrior, what happens is it creates this doubt because at a certain point they're like, oh, well this would be the one time I skipped.
But if you make this commitment to yourself that I will do something every day, maybe it's writing a journal, maybe it's going for a walk. Then you, there's no decision that needs to be made. You should never ask. Oh, well, I go for a walk today. If you've hardwired this into your purpose, like for me to be at my best, I must walk every day, then come rail, rain, hail or shine.
You walk every single day. And I had this funny, a moment where I ran in the, in [00:46:00] the rain. And I remember I was looking at the rain before I went out now. So do I really want to run? But I actually ran in the rain and like, there was nobody about, cause it was raining and I got back and GI, I felt good because not only did I run, but I ran and in the rain and nobody else was even out because it was a writing a faith a bit.
And I think those are the moments that can bring you meaning and happiness. Cause you're like, yep. I'm soaked. I'm going to take a nice warm shower, but. Iran and I think that's, yeah. Don't you think that it's so important to grab onto those things? If we're going to be peaceful warriors, I think you have to just grab onto, you know, this idea that I have this positive habit and I am getting to do it every single day.
And the warrior in me is going to keep myself to that commitment. I think that's the challenge for us, isn't it? Yeah. I, I build on it and say that what the way of the peaceful warrior is showing us is having the awareness to [00:47:00] identify that that's the thing that makes you happy. That's the thing that you're putting into practice.
That's giving you purpose, isn't it? No matter whether it's in the rain or not the fact that you got out there, you kept that routine. You did that thing that makes you happy. And he was probably heightened because I mean, there's, it's very fun running in the rain. Isn't it? Particularly if you're the only one like that, but it is, isn't it learning to know what makes you happy?
Is is such an important lesson that actually, you know, we have, we have run into before in the moonshots as well. And, and by the way, for our listeners who were keen on knowing about that Clayton Christiansen episode, Mike, that you just referenced, it was way back in the archives episode 39. Oh gosh. Oh gosh.
Such a good book too. Oh my gosh. So good. But you know, one of the ways we get to these insights is finding rest in peace and I am particularly bad at this one. I [00:48:00] have really good, a lot, a lot to learn and a lot of room to grow in finding the right rest and peacefulness. But we've got this interesting clip now from Dan Millman.
And he's talking about what I think is something that's going to resonate with a lot of our listeners. I know for you and me ma. We try to be super productive. We've got a lot going on at work in our personal lives, but it's interesting that it's, it reminds me of the fact that, you know, most Americans never take the full allotment of vacation time that they get every year.
And yet they just really important for people to find some time for rest and for pace. And we shouldn't be scared of this. So let's have a listen now to Dan Millman talking about how to think about how to overcome this fear of wasting time. This is one. I don't really have a clear answer [00:49:00] to. It's an ongoing contemplation in my life.
My cousin spends nine months of the year on ship cruises going on cruises. He and his wife just cruise nine months of the year. They go on one cruise all around an area of the world than they do it again. The second time they love the predictability, that safety they're getting served, wonderful meals.
He likes dressing up and tuxedo. We're really different in that way. Anything that requires a black tie, I don't usually attend, but that's just difference in personality. It's not better or worse. But I wonder am I missing something he's cruising all over the world and There are people who are constantly busy doing this and doing that, accomplish this at every moment, very busy.
And I remember times like that and it's feels very fulfilling in a way you're accomplishing a lot and yet loud too. I mean, I'm sure it's a rough translation, but loud too said when you can spend a Saturday afternoon doing absolutely nothing how to live it. [00:50:00] So, yeah. Mason Williams, he was an old songwriter.
He once said isn't life beautiful. Isn't life gay isn't life. The perfect way to pass the time. So, I don't know if there's such a thing as wasting time. If you're, if you play a video game, maybe you need to space out for a while to go back and refresh yourself and function. We have these ideas it's better to read than watch television.
Well, there are some arguments in favor of that. Reading cultivates the imagination. You have to make pictures in your mind. And one of the best things we ever did for our daughters when they were teeny. So we read to them every night, we didn't give them, they didn't have screen time. So we each have to make our own decision for our children and for ourselves.
But to be productively, occupied probably feels more fulfilling to most of us than sitting and staring at the TV screen. But where that [00:51:00] balance is, I don't know. I think it's different for each person of how much, how busy to keep it. It's an ongoing contemplation. So I have no definitive answer. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's funny, isn't it?
Because it's going to be so different and subjective between different people like you, when you set up the clip mic, I think you and I do fall into the camp of, I've got to be busy and I got to, I've got to you know, be productive. I've got to go out and create or do something, whether it's a physical work or exercise, whatever it might be.
But yeah, I, I like where he's going in that clip. And I think what he's cultivating or referencing there is this idea of the peacefulness within the warrior, getting to know yourself and actually accepting the fact that yeah, you need a break. You need to rest, you need to recuperate. And only when you do that, can you perhaps.
You know, reflect on [00:52:00] again. What makes you happy or what are those strengths? Do you need to build from a mental capacity? Yeah, I think it's a bit like a car. We can't run in fifth gear all the time. I think that's the best way for me to relate to this. And I think it's if you, I would say it's not any like the compulsion I have to be busy.
I think it's also, and I think again, for a lot of the moonshot is that are listening to this show. They're like, I'm so interested in so many things. Like, for example, I have my professional job, but I'm also wildly interested in sport. I'm really interested in history and economics. All of which are just personal interests.
In addition to the. I like to run. In addition, I spend a lot of time with music [00:53:00] and I'm a dad, I'm a husband, son. Like I got a lot. There's a lot of things calling upon my time. And I think what's really interesting is we can start doing things like when we go for a walk, don't listen to music. When we go for a walk, don't walk fast, but walk slow, just sit in your garden with no book, just sit in the park, not with all your friends, but just by yourself on a blanket.
Like, I think the, the real thing here is knowing that you need to cool the engine down and that you can't be stuck in fifth gear because what's interesting is like, you look at Winston Churchill, by the way, my someone we should definitely do on moonshots. He used to take, he was famous for napping [00:54:00] and in the middle of the war, he would take a nap because he knew he needed to rebuild to rejuvenate.
And what I like about Dan Millman right there is he's like, I don't have the answer, but there are times where you do not need to be occupied, that you can find this health and wellbeing from just doing nothing. Just chewing the hell out with some, some intention I would say. And that can recharge you incredibly kind of.
Yeah. And it is a little. Different, I think to some of the other models and themes that we've encountered on the show before, I think where Dan's building on this idea of obstacles being sought out in order to grow, you know, where he's connecting the warrior to that peacefulness is by saying, yeah, but, you know, Make sure you do find that [00:55:00] time to, to have a Winston Churchill nap.
And I liked the, I liked the tips you just gave around going to the park by yourself, or going to sit down in a quiet room by yourself because that's when that meditation kicks in, isn't it, that's when you can actually compartmentalize and just remove all these distractions, remove the notifications, cause the music, you know, we all love it, but at the same time, it does lead to a very cluttered mindset and that makes it then difficult to interact with each other.
It makes it difficult to do our best work I'd say. And I think mark for our last. I think you may have left the best clip till last wouldn't you say? Yeah, this is building on that previous clip around this concept of time and how you're going to utilize it to the best of your capabilities. But also Mike thinking back a couple of previous shows ago to maybe even our friend [00:56:00] Eckhart Tolle, this is a, a theme that Dan is bringing up again, but in a slightly different tastes, bearing in mind his experience in the physical world and the connection to his mental models.
So this final clip to hear us out for today's show is Mr. Dan Millman telling us to focus on one thing at a time. Life can feel overwhelming when we're thinking about the past and future, you know, a writer named Barbara rasp said the lesson is simple. The student is complicated by focusing less actually on trying to have just the right.
And positive thoughts and quiet mind and just the right feelings. If we focus on what we have more control over how we move our arms and legs, what we actually do, moment to moment, it simplifies our life. Do you ever wake up in the morning thinking, oh, I have 26 things I have to do today, but actually there's only one [00:57:00] thing you need to do open your eyes when you first wake up and then sit up unless you sleep sitting up and then put your feet on the floor.
One thing at a time, my life is very busy. I'm sure yours is very busy too, but my life has become very simple. When I finally realized I can only do one thing at a time. A young man, a college student actually came up to me once sedan. I know you charge a lot of money for personal consultations, but I'm a poor college student.
I just have a dollar. Can you tell me something for a dollar? I said, sure. And I gave him, I told him six words that could change his life. If he actually practiced it. Those six words were simply here and now breathe and relax. Just remembering to do those things more often, remembering where we are, where we are right here.
Right now. The moment of reality. It's [00:58:00] the only one mark Twain once said I've had many troubles in my life. Most of which never happened. Yeah. We laugh because there's some truth. There. A light bulb goes on. Most of our troubles are self-created about past and future regrets anxieties. But right now we can, we can handle this moment.
Life comes at us in waves of change. We cannot predict or control those waves, but we can become better surfers. One thing added time. I mean, this is such, such good advice, Mike. Breathe and relax here. And now I think the more energy you put into your craft, your purpose, the more you need to balance that with this very mindful advice, don't you?
Yeah. I mean, we've all felt overwhelmed at times [00:59:00] and you know, perhaps crushed by indecision when you've got so many things calling for your attention and you can't collaborate, you can't give your family the best attention. You can't even give yourself that break that we heard about in the previous clip.
But if you can just let yourself go take a big breath, rinse and repeat, then maybe you can find that that peaceful heart that Dan's really calling us out there in that final clip. I mean, a powerful, powerful reminder. Yeah. And just wonderful that we can take this moment to jump into another flavor of mindfulness.
You know, I'm sure then mil can imagine Dan Millman and Eckhart Tolle hanging out. That would be one pretty mindful conversation. I can imagine that at some point in, in the, the [01:00:00] world of authors and thinkers and, and behavior behavioralists and so on, they probably had a dinner or a lunch together. And I'll tell you what Mike, I would have loved to have been there.
Can you write, can you imagine, so what, what like kind of what a portfolio, what a spectrum of ideas from Dan Millman. And we have to of course, think Terry Bean for recommending Dem Millman's work. We covered a pretty broad set of ideas from such a unique author, because he was a great athlete.
He was a great coach. He then wrote the book, oh, by the way, he wrote it as a fictional piece. Oh, by the way, it got made as a movie. I mean, this is truly one of the most unique moonshot superstars that we've had a look at and, and what a great story. Tell it. Huh. What a great enter the thinking better series.
You know, we had Adam Grant, we had Matthew McConaughey and today with Dan Melvin three individuals [01:01:00] who are accomplished well, perhaps beyond the completion fact in their respective fields, you know authors, actors I'm going to call them, I'm going to group Dan into kind of gymnast, but I know he's way, way more as you've just said.
Yeah. But they've all got so. Many themes or concepts or ideas that can inspire us to think better. Think about the way that we live our lives, that we're aware about things, the way that we react to things. I think they've all come towards us with these different slices of DNA, but there's so much that we can learn from each of them.
So that's been a pretty powerful series for me. It has been what a, what a fun series. And I think it's a really great moment to think about thinking, right? Isn't that, isn't that fun like, and I think that the real empowerment for our soul is that we can in fact you know, [01:02:00] reduce our negative thoughts.
We can optimize for the positive. Yeah. W I think this is a valid reminder that are much like Adam called out in his book. We don't have to be beholden to our beliefs. Beliefs can be changed, whether those beliefs are around negativity or reactions. Oh, I can't control it. That's just the way I am. Oh yeah.
I get angry. That's just what happens to me. You can still take back control over that by thinking differently. And I think each of these, these episodes about reflection about practice and training, I feel like I've left that a little bit stronger from my, my thinking capabilities, Mike. So which one would you, if you had to start focusing doing more of which habit, which ritual would you take from dammit?
I think it's the reflection of happiness. You [01:03:00] know, I think it really, for me, that stems that's, that's the beginning of the river for me. That's the source. If I can, reappropriate the way that I think about my journey and I can stop my ego, perhaps driving those emotions to control whether I'm happy or not.
I believe I can then work better on taking a break. I can then work better at focusing on one thing at a time or finding purpose as well as strengthening my spirit. I think for me, that's the, that's the source, but where, where do you land Mike?
I think it is, you know, something I touched on towards the end of the show. Just balancing out. All my energy and desire to be productive. Yeah. With more stillness and rest and trying to optimize to quality, not quantity. I think. This idea of being, I would have, you know, particularly my earlier career, [01:04:00] I would have been so much the Tony Robbins RAR RAR warrior type.
But Dan, in, in the wisdom of the years, Dan has reminded me of that. Peacefulness is in fact, the source of energy, which is you could do a whole episode on that. Couldn't you? Yeah. Maybe, maybe one day we will, but we're going to have to wait for our listeners to tell us then. Yeah. Yeah. So mark, thank you to you.
Thank you for helping us break down just another new way to think with the work of Dan Millman and the way of the peaceful warrior and thank you to you. All of our moon shutters on all four corners of the planet, but in particular to those of you in Brazil who have joined us to learn out loud, we welcome you.
We're so grateful for your time. Make sure that you tell us what you think, make your contributions@moonshots.io. But today, today we went [01:05:00] into the world of the peaceful warrior, a book by Dan Millman and this peaceful warrior starts with what he calls spiritual weight training. So we've all got different battles that's life.
So we may as well have strongest shoulders to carry. And the foundational idea was meditation. Find that stillness and find that pace and be accepting that everything has a purpose be good or bad. It is what it is. So how do we go the way of the peaceful warrior? Well, we enjoy our life. We actually let go of our ego and all the crazy mischievous mind going on and we find time to rest and to be peaceful, don't feel.
Find that rest and focus on the now don't be overwhelmed with dreams and visions and the past and the future take things one thing at a time. Yes. This is [01:06:00] what we've learned from Dan Millman, the way of the peaceful warrior. And he gave us just six words that say everything here and now breathe and relax.
And if we all do that, we for sure will be on the way we will be the very best versions of ourselves. That's it for the moonshots podcast. That's a wrap.